The
following article is from Adoption.com e-magazine. http://e-magazine.adoption.com/2009-12/adopting
The holidays can be an especially stressful time of year for
anyone. Add to it the stress of waiting for a child to join your family through
adoption and it can make what once was an enjoyable time of year, a very
difficult and emotional time. For many of us, there is no escaping the time you
spend with friends and family, which usually also brings with it unending
questions about what is going on with the adoption process. For some, this can
be a great way to keep others informed of their plans, while for others, its a
reminder of the frustration of being involved in a process which you have very
little control over.
Some seasoned adoptive parents within our community have offered
up some advice on things you can do to cope with the stress of the wait during
the holidays.
Send out an update via e-mail or 'family newsletter' that shares
the status of your adoption journey. Doing this allows family members to be
involved in the journey, without turning your holiday family time into a
question and answer period about the adoption process. Don't be afraid to speak
your mind and ask family members to keep their focus on the season during
family get togethers rather than your journey and let them know you'll keep
everyone updated as news develops. Offering information in advance can
sometimes keep people from asking the difficult questions during a time when
everyone should be enjoying themselves.
Instead of focusing on what isn't happening this holiday season,
focus on something that is happening. If you had really hoped to purchase gifts
for a child this year, consider buying gifts for a child in need. Almost all
larger retailers as well as shopping malls have "Angel Trees" where
you pick up the name and information for a child in your community who may not
otherwise have a gift to unwrap this year.
Make time for yourself and your partner. Those who have never been
involved in the journey may not understand the emotional toll the adoption
process can have on you and your partner. Plan a weekend getaway or just a few
days at home where you can spend time together and enjoy each others company.
Remember, this may be something you won't have the pleasure of doing for some
time, once your child comes home. Rather than focusing on what life will be
like once you've brought your child home, try focusing on making the most of
the time you have left and do things you won't be able to do once you become a
parent.
The holidays are a great time for celebration and a great time to
remember just how different your life is about to become. Try to think of it in
terms of the joys your life is about to gain, rather than the loss you may be
feeling by spending another holiday without the child you envision. Most of
all, take care of you and your partner, because you never know when the phone
might ring.
