When
a birth parent(s) contacts Adoptions of Wisconsin the first step taken is to
set up a face-to-face appointment with Claire, adoption social worker and
executive director of Adoptions of Wisconsin. The meeting is scheduled as
soon as possible—optimally within 24 hours of initial contact. During the
initial meeting the birth parent(s) is asked general questions about their
pregnancy, their financial and medical resources and their emotional support
system. The focus of the first meeting is to get to know the birth
parent(s) and to discuss their reasons for contacting AOW and their interest in
making an adoption plan. The information gathered during the first
meeting sets the pace for all following meetings.
To
quote Claire,
“Typically when I begin work with a birth
parent, I provide counseling prior to showing adoptive parent profiles.
The amount of counseling varies with each birth parent, however the purpose of
the counseling is to determine their confidence level in their adoption plan,
get to know them and their problem solving/coping skills and prepare them for
some of the normal feelings that might come up during the adoption
process.”
Once
a birth parent(s) feels ready they are provided with profiles of families
from the AOW Outreach Program who are open to their situation. For
example, a birth parent(s) who is interested in an open adoption relationship
would not be shown the profile of an adoptive family who wants a closed
adoption because from the get go the two parties are approaching adoption with
an entirely different plan and therefore would not be a good match. Birth
parents are given as much time as they need to review profiles. AOW does
not put any sort of time limitation as to how long a birth parent(s) has to
make a decision regarding an adoptive family. The birth parent(s) is
allowed to take either the profiles or take away letters with them to review at
their own pace. Most birth parents take about a week to make a decision
as to which families they want to meet. Some birth parents will take much
longer. Looking at adoptive parent profiles can bring up a lot of
emotions and some birth parents opt for more counseling before they decide to
meet with prospective adoptive families. This is also one of the times
during the adoption process in which birth parents might reassess their
adoption plan and decide that adoption is not the right choice for them.
Once a birth parent has looked at profiles and potentially met with adoptive
families they sit down with Claire to discuss which family seems like the best
match for them. When a birth parent feels confident with their choice of
adoptive family Claire will contact the adoptive family and ask them if they
would like to match with the birth parent(s). Just like the birth
parent(s) is given a choice as to who they feel is the best fit for their
situation the adoptive family is also given a choice as to whether they feel
the birth parent(s) is a good match for them.
We
at AOW understand how hard the waiting process is for adoptive parents though
we can guarantee you that when you are matched with your birth mother and your
baby is in your arms, you will know exactly that you were meant to wait for
that particular baby. Waiting for a match is one of the most trying times
of the adoption process. At times words don’t seem to ease the
anticipation and longing for a baby in your arms. Please contact Claire
or Jenny if there is anything we can do to help you through the waiting
period. Sometimes just checking in with one of us at AOW can be
helpful. The more we are aware of your thoughts and feelings regarding
the adoption process the more able we are to give you the needed support and
resources to help you during this time.
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